"I'm proudly running as an immoral guttertramp," said the immoral guttertramp. "And that's not a gaffe. It's the truth. Oh, and I'm going to be president."
According to sources, this may very well be the only honest statement you'll hear from Harris, the trampy vice presidential hopeful who will "say or do anything--anything--to become president."
"Her willingness and ability to get what she wants is impressive," said a staffer who asked to remain anonymous because he doesn't want to lose any "fringe benefits."
His confidence that Willie Brown's ex-boytoy will end up in the top spot is underscored by the fact that she wasn't even the campaign's original choice for VP. In fact, he says, she was at the bottom of the list, which Biden declared early on would only contain women.
Ahead of Harris were some notable choices, but none had what the staffer described as "that certain something" that we were looking for.
Amy Klobuchar was "really nasty and mean." Stacey Abrams "reminded Joe of Aunt Jemima." And Pete Buttigieg "gave everyone the creeps."
But then Kamala came in and just "blew everyone away."
By the time she finished the first round of interviews, the all-male staff had no doubt she was their woman.
"In fact," said the staffer, "we only did the second round of interviews as a formality. Just for fun. Ditto for the third, fourth, and fifth rounds."
But Harris didn't mind the process.
"Five, ten, twenty rounds, whatever it takes," said the immoral guttertramp who may very well sleep her way to the highest office in the land. "I'm going to be president."